RICKY Williams-Heisman Trophy winner, first-round draft pick, symbol of power and strength-is one of the most bruising and punishing running backs in the National Football League, but for most of his 25 years, all 5-foot10 and 228 pounds of him has been held in the strangling grip of social anxiety disorder, a medical condition that causes him to fear normal, everyday interactions with normal, everyday people.

And for a time, it was so bad that-with the exception of going to games and practice-Williams' life was primarily limited to the inside of his home. "There were times when I would get dressed with the intention of going out for the night, then I'd remember that I'd have to deal with people who might recognize me," says the former New Orleans Saints star who was traded to the Miami Dolphins this year. "Sometimes I was just too fearful to handle something like that."

As Ricky remained holed up in his home, his self-esteem plummeted, and he almost walked away from football. But his life began to turn around in early 2001 when he sought the help of a therapist and found out that he is one of the 10 million Americans who are victims of social anxiety disorder, the most common anxiety disorder and the third most common psychiatric disorder in the United States, after depression and alcoholism. Typically, the condition causes sufferers to intensely fear being scrutinized by other people in social and performing situations, and Williams' condition apparently got worse and worse as he got older.

For as far back as he can remember, the San Diego-born superstar says his painful shyness dictated his life, shaping his actions to the point that his childhood friends called him "crazy" and later his antics prompted football teammates to describe him as "a head case and just plain weird."

It was while Williams was with the Saints that his debilitating fear escalated and his reclusive, bizarre behavior shifted to overdrive. To avoid eye contact, it was customary for him to do interviews without taking off his helmet (complete with darkened visor); he was mortified to enter an occupied elevator; if it was mandatory to appear at public events, he'd hide in a restroom until the last minute; and at one time, he left the stadium in full uniform to avoid reporters.

"At that time, I didn't do a very good job of dealing with the media or fans," Ricky says. "Every time they would come up to me, maybe just to say 'Good game' or 'We're happy to have you here,' I would automatically think they were going to say something negative, so I'd walk away so I wouldn't have to hear it. I was so uncomfortable in everyday situations that it made me act on things that I had made up in my head."

With therapy and medication, Williams got a new beginning, what he calls "a new lease on life," that was enhanced by the move to Miami, where he began to show a side of himself that those who knew him never would have imagined. He began to welcome interviews, frequently interacted with fans, signed autograph after autograph, and he even changed his dating pattern, which pre-therapy was primarily limited to his companions either spending time at his home or, under the cover of darkness, they would attend a late movie. In addition, rather than zipping through the city in a vehicle with tinted windows, the former University of Texas star can now be seen tooling around in his 2003 Ferrari-with the top down.

Looking back, Ricky had to change, he says, because he finally realized that in his previous condition he couldn't be a good teammate, a good friend or a good father to his 3-year-old daughter Marley or his young son Prince. "Before I got help, I just don't think I loved myself enough to be good with anybody else," be says.

Doctors say the exact cause of social anxiety disorder is not known, although studies indicate that both biological and psychological factors may play a role. The diagnosis by Ricky's therapist not only set the wheels in motion for his personal revival, but his athletic revitalization as well. Since the trade to Miami, he has been exhibiting the special ball-carrying ability that was evident prior to a string of nagging injuries that limited his production in New Orleans.

Now that Ricky, has been liberated from a condition that usually begins during the mid-teens, he is currently on a mission to educate others who might be experiencing the same life-altering demons that shaped his life for most of his life. "Today, I'm a totally different person, and I love myself because I took the major step to get help," he says. "If you think you are crazy or a freak, talk to a therapist who can make things make sense to you. And don't feel ashamed at all. Don't ever be ashamed about it!"

This Article has been submitted by the Jeremy's Prophecy Dot Com team for informational and educational purposes. Jeremy's Prophecy Dot Com is a website dedicated to telling the story of Jeremy Jacobs, a character in the novel, Jeremy's Prophecy Dot Com.