Wednesday, October 30, 2002
A road I saw
With thy very eyes.
A path I say
Indeed, a surprise!
So, I did as the bold.
The ones who told.
I traversed thy path fear nil of fall.
And the wind blew cold, and the leaves sounded old.
What remorse to say to have found—
Along this sacred ground.
There was no path at all.
- kimmel
7:32 PM
Friday, October 11, 2002
Funny. I used to get some relief writing here.
- kimmel
5:50 PM
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
“The few trees, now, wearing fall’s leaves, bunched as they are together with the green lot are like the rare seventh grader with facial hair among the baby faced majority,” said Davis.
- kimmel
4:04 PM
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Self Dialogue
How can I communicate this—this hopeless place I frequent? Would a desperate cry for guidance from the one spirit that’s holy, help? Or is the Holy Spirit a myth?
My depressed mind has found it faulty—Christianity, that is.
I suppose that’s a way to communicate it: Imagine praying to God for help imprisoned with a fear like that of a rejected infant crying in a dumpster. Imagine then reading His so-called word and having your depressed intellect firing analysis at a feverish pace, unraveling the bible’s mystery and concluding with utter truth that the bible was simply written by those in the state of an accelerated mind. Deduction: The bible is High Mind. The word of the prophets is a kin to this insanity I suffer from. Is God this, then . . . the intellect (the brain) at its peak—a hodgepodge of serotonin and dopamine to extreme?
Bob Dylan tells me I’m gonna’ have to serve somebody. “Might be the Devil, Might be the Lord.” When my intellect is docile this seems true. When my intellect is mad—God’s gone. And gone when I long for him most.
Why then is the benevolent father hiding when I call?
Perhaps He’s with me while my mind is Mad. Often times in the bible he’s angry, desperate, enraged.
So why then do I avoid depression, sadness, and negativity, like the plague? Why are our bookstores littered with mini hardbacks offering cute methods to heal the soul? Maybe, madness is necessary for the whole.
Note to self: embrace the mad rather then running—then fearing—then shunning the gift God has provided.
- kimmel
5:36 PM
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